I dashed to the bathroom, swallowing any uncertainty, doubt and what, if I were a normal, moral, person would be called guilt but I prefer to call uneasiness. I tore off my clothes and turned the shower on full. I stepped under the hot water and felt my muscles relax. Without too much lingering I was straight into my ablution routine: shampoo, rinse shampoo, condition, exfoliate body, rinse off, slather on body wash, shave important bits (legs, underarms), apply face wash, rinse everything off- conditioner, body wash and face wash- scrub teeth during final rinse.
Hop out the shower, towel dry hair and flip it into a turban. Chaff yourself with a soft towel until dry then deodorant and on with body lotion (dry skin becomes old skin). Body finished, turn next to face. Quick, quick, moisturize this too. Wash excess moisturizer off hands as it makes hair greasy.
Go find clothes (hope they aren't at the bottom of the wardrobe, dirty or wet from the wash and have most of their buttons) and put on appropriate underwear. Back to the bathroom. Blow dry and style hair. Put on all make up apart from lip color. Back to the bedroom. Get dressed. Hurry now, he'll be here soon. Back to the bathroom. Apply lip color or gloss or gunk or whatever. Last mascara coating. Moisturize hands. Perfume! Spray air above hair and neck and wrists at least. Check hair. Check clothes. Find handbag & make sure you have everything you need. Leave it by the front door. Pick perfect shoes and put them on.
Go and have a nice cup of tea or find a book and read calmly until he arrives. Hear the knock on the door walk slowly to the front door. Smile genuinely before you open it. Kiss him briefly on the lips and tell him you're almost ready. Set the house alarm. Pick up hand bag, final check of phone, keys and wallet - not that you'll need it, surely your gentleman is paying? - and leave the house, checking you've locked the door.
Now, wasn't that easy?


To my mind it is a great article.
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Posted by: Selina | 05/12/2010 at 09:15 PM