"So babe, what happened?" We were still sitting on the sofa, SH's arm was around me, my head was against his shoulder and the dogs were snoring with pleasure as we stroked them.
I stayed silent for a long time, trying to figure out what to say to him. SH hadn't ever mentioned the night when I went home with the Captain and not with him. There are always plenty more fishes in the sea for SH and most of them are fighting to get on his hook.
"I don't even know. He took me have dinner with his parents." SH whistled. He knows me at least.
"I imagine you didn't react well to that."
"Not at all. We fought and I said some terrible things to him."
"Like what."
"Like that he meant nothing to me and that it was just sex."
"So? I tell girls that all the time."
"Yes but probably not straight after they tell you they love you and want to spend the rest of their life with you. Not after their parents have just given you official blessing."
"Ah no, probably not then. Should have spoken up before babe. Should have been straight right from the beginning that this is just sex."
"I know."
"So why did you bolt?"
"We had sex. After we fought."
"Terrible was it? Can't blame you for bolting then darling." I cuffed him gently.
"No it wasn't terrible but it was different. He was still angry."
"Angry sex? Nice."
"It was... Oh I don't know. Angry and then cuddly. Too much left unsaid. I can't be with someone who I can't talk to and he doesn't know me at all. Doesn't know that I'll be leaving again soon, doesn't know me, doesn't know anything about me. He thinks that I'm this sweet, kind, loving girl who swoons and falls in love and cares about him."
"Ah, so you managed to hide the fact that you're really a nasty, horrible, cold fish with a heart of stone?"
"SH!"
"Well come on babe, you're not that bad. Sounds like you got in over your head and now you need some time to cool off. Just wait down here until you've figured out what you want to do or say to him then go and do it. Do you want to be with him?"
"No. God no."
"Well that's simple enough. Are you going to be a coward and disappear or be a man and tell him the truth."
"Coward."
"Babe..."
"Oh ok fine. I'll be a man about it. What on earth do I tell him?"
"Are you really telling me you've never broken up with someone before? Babe, please, you broke up with me remember? Just tell him the truth."
"Ha!"
"Ok, don't tell him the truth. Tell him you have the plague, tell him he's too good for you, tell him he's not rich enough or not funny enough or he has an stupid looking head. I know him, remember babe. He won't accept it and he won't accept anything other than the truth from you."
We lapsed back to silence and left the rest unsaid.
Truth would not be easy for either the Captain to accept or myself to say.
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