SH reached for my hand and squeezed it significantly. The Captain must have just pulled up as he was getting out of the car and examining the old building. Pidge raced off towards him, determined to investigate the stranger. The Captain turned towards the sound of her paws on gravel. Seeing us he stopped and his eyes narrowed.
"Courage babe. I'll go see if M wants a chat shall I?"
"Don't leave me!" I hissed.
"Don't be a coward." With a black look at me SH strode off towards the back of the house and the kitchens. I carried on walking towards the Captain, feeling a bit like an aristo heading to the guillotine.
Well I knew this was coming and I wouldn't back down now. It was going to be bloody unpleasant but had to be done. Then it would be over and I could go nap. I could feel my body already getting sleepy, a sure sign I knew this would be horrible.
The Captain started towards me and I tried not to flinch. He didn't stop until he had swept me up into a huge hug which, I may say, came as a bit of a surprise.
He squeezed me tightly, obviously unwilling to let me go. Into my hair he said,
"We need to talk, Darling."
I agreed and led him towards the bench that encircles one of the oaks in the parkland. I sat down whilst he stood in front of me.
"This week has been hell. I'm not cross that you've ignored all my messages or that it's been damn hard to track you down. I don't even care that SH is down here and holding your hand. I know you were freaked out. I know that you're scared and worried. I know you think this is too soon but I've always known my mind and I know you too. I know you love me even if you don't know it yet." The Captain took a huge breath then sunk to one knee.
"Darling, I love you. I want to cherish and protect you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and have beautiful blond children with you. I want... that is... Darling, would you please make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"
Then came out the ring. It consisted of a large, square, unenhanced emerald with a long baguette shaped diamond either side. The Captain took my numb hand and slipped it on my ring finger. The fit was almost right but slightly snug. I looked at this ring on my finger in uncomprehending shock. I hadn't been wearing my engagement ring from Alpha in England as I had sent it to be cleaned when I first got back and hadn't picked it up yet. This new one felt like a cuckoo on my finger.
"Say yes darling." I looked at the Captain. He looked so confident and happy and proud. Exactly the kind of man that any girl would be thrilled to have. Any girl but me.
"I can't." His smile didn't even flicker.
"Of course you can. I know it's soon but this just feels so right." I panicked, all courage deserting me.
"I can't!" I all but shrieked.
"Ok, just think about it. Keep the ring for now and just think about it. Stay here with your mother for a few days and just think it over. I'll be waiting for you when you're ready. When you realize this is exactly the right thing to do."
He kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tight again. Then he stood up and walked back to his car and drove away, his bright, shiny confidence not shaken at all. I looked down at the ring and thought briefly about hurling it in the lake and flying back to Beijing the next day. No, that wouldn't do. I would think about this but I wanted to get away, further away that my Mothers. Somewhere the Captain couldn't reach me.
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