I haven't felt my best recently. The weather and pollution have been terrible. If the city isn't covered in a blanket of smog and "cloud" then it's pouring with rain and you can't get a cab. The pollution makes everyone feel low too. People are going out less and everyone has fought off some kind of bug.
My strongest urge recently has been to stay in and watch TV. I haven't wanted to go out. I haven't wanted to drink. I certainly haven't wanted to pick up any stray men. The only man I've wanted has been my dear Alpha.
I really feel the urge to get out of the city. This is the longest I've spent in Beijing without a break in the past 3 years. What is it that's causing this restlessness within me? I feel like I'm on the cusp of something and I don't know what it is. Maybe this is because I felt that 2009 would be a year of change and so far it hasn't really been. It just feels like a place holder. So much is going to happen but it just hasn't happened yet.
I feel like I need to be good to myself: drink less, eat better, sleep more and go to the gym more frequently.
I'm being cryptic and maudlin and neither suit me well.
I'm going away this weekend. I hope when I come back I'll feel better and have some more adventures to share.
XXX
i also feel 2009 hasnt given us the push we all so wanted :(
Posted by: Jemma | 09/14/2009 at 12:22 AM