Ah so here come the apologies. I have been writing. I have written in months. There are a number of pretty good excuses that I could give and all are true:
- I've been totally unable to get onto TypePad.
- I still cant get on to The Kept Woman
- I've been traveling.
- Twitter is blocked here too.
Ok yes so they just feel like excuses to me to.
The truth of the matter is that I've felt bored, isolated, lost. I didn't love the summer of 2009. I felt disconnected from everyone, especially Alpha. We seemed to have guests constantly and both Alpha and I were away. We were rarely in the same city let alone bed. It was depressing. The Frenchman was also away, dealing with a family death in France. Men lost their allure, friends felt stale and I had lost my luster.
What has caused me to change back to the old Kept Woman? I'm not sure to be truthful. I feel brighter, lighter. I'm back into my old routine, I'm going out, seeing people, going to the gym, feeling healthy. It feels like a new start.
Maybe it's just the beginning of winter. I love winter. I love the cold, clear days and the dark, frosty nights. I love being able to wear boots and putting on layers. I love gloves, hats and scarves. I love the parties, the dinners, the wine. Summer in Beijing has never really thrilled me. I hate the heat, the pollution, the sweat, the gloom of mucky pollutants covering what should be a beautiful day.
Summer in England is another story altogether though.
No, here's to winter and a fresh start. Here's to writing again and feeling like my old self. Here's to feeling alive again.
I'm going out to dinner tonight with my two closest friends and Alpha is back from London.
Here's to old friends and old lovers... and new ones too.
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